


Mr. Cellophane

by JotaroVapes (radioaction)



Series: Fire Emblem 3 Houses Kinkmeme Fills [3]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Banter, Blow Jobs, Bottom Ferdinand von Aegir, Dubious Consent, Established Relationship, Exhibitionism, Humor, Invisibility, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Sort Of, Top Hubert von Vestra, Trouble In Paradise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:00:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26169841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radioaction/pseuds/JotaroVapes
Summary: When Hubert successfully creates an invisibility potion, he demonstrates its effectiveness during the Prime Minister’s cabinet meeting.Ferdinand,  however,  is not amused by his husband's antics.
Relationships: Ferdinand von Aegir/Hubert von Vestra
Series: Fire Emblem 3 Houses Kinkmeme Fills [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1793341
Comments: 20
Kudos: 107





	Mr. Cellophane

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MaidenM](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaidenM/gifts).



> Written for the kinkmeme requesting "invisible sex" with ferdibert: https://3houseskinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/1608.html?thread=2039112
> 
> "Repost because there is a shortage on invisible sex  
> Hubert is working on a spell to turn himself invisible for espionage purposes. Yada-yada-yada, he ends up fucking Ferdinand while invisible.  
> Consensual, dub-con, non-con, pre or post ts, it's all up to you!"

Hubert had spent the last several days holed up in his private laboratory, creating a new potion recipe through trial and error. His objective was to create a potion that could make one invisible, or at the very least, semi-translucent. Acts of espionage would always be necessary, even if they currently lived in a time of relative peace. However, so far, his efforts had been unsuccessful.

Using his mortar and pestle, Hubert ground small, iridescent scales into a fine powder. They belonged to a very rare newt that had remarkable camouflage capabilities. Acquiring them had taken months. The scales had to be imported from overseas, but fortunately, the newts were not endangered. Quite a bit of money was saved by buying in bulk. Sadly, the same could not be said for the other ingredients.

He added the powder to the dark blue concoction that he had already prepared. It thickened the liquid and turned it into a glimmering paste. Hubert placed the round bottom flask over a burner and watched as the substance turned from dark blue to a brilliant green as it started to melt. If he was correct, this meant that the ingredient was ‘activated,’ and the potion would soon be complete.

While he waited for it to liquify, he puttered around the laboratory, fussing with his instruments. They were _not_ properly put away by whoever borrowed them last. On the shelf where he kept his personal supply of rare ingredients, he saw the jar of red crystal bane was slightly askew.

Now, usually, Hubert wasn’t one to make baseless accusations. But he was sure it was Linhardt.

It just felt like something that a lazy, apathetic person like Linhardt would do.

Once everything was in its rightful place, he looked back to the flask. It was starting to bubble. Removing the heat source, he gingerly picked up the flask and swirled the liquid around.

The way the green color faded as it was stirred was mesmerizing. Once it cooled, the potion was almost completely clear.

Taking this as a sign of progress and possible success, Hubert poured a small amount into a vial and held it under his nose. It smelled a bit like formaldehyde, which did not bode well.

But history was rarely made by the cowardly.

Surely, a skilled healer would have no trouble with treating something like poison. If anything, he could haunt Linhardt if things didn’t work out.

Bottoms up.

It left him with a tingling sensation as it traveled over his tongue and down his throat.

Hubert swallowed.

While bitter, it was not unpleasant.

Hubert took a seat on a stool and waited for the effects of the potion to commence. Or for the poison to work its way into his bloodstream.

Several minutes passed without incident. He stood up with a heavy sigh and picked up the ancient spellbook that had listed possible ingredients for such a potion. While the language was archaic, he was so sure he had gotten the gist of the contexts correct.

As he was turning a page, he heard someone enter the room. One of his apprentices stood at the doorway.

Closing the book, he opened his mouth to speak - just as the blood drained from her face.

Petrified, she had her eyes fixed on the book in his hand.

Curious, he closed the book and studied her reaction.

It closed with a small thud, and the noise snapped the young mage from her stupor.

Brandishing a nearby broom like a weapon, she waved, “I’m not scared of ghosts, you hear? Go back to hell! We don’t want you!”

This was not the first time that someone had said that to him, but his relationship with his assistant was amicable. He doubted that she would say such things to his face.

Unless. she didn't know it was him.

Hubert set the book down and stepped away from the counter. The apprentice gave no indication of registering his presence instead of creeping closer to the book and nudging it with the broom handle’s end. Walking slow circles around her, he crossed his arms and held his chin in contemplation.

Then he clapped loudly.

The broom fell to the ground with a clatter, and with a shriek, she ran out of the room - he heard her wail as her footsteps disappeared down the hall.

Interesting.

This required further investigation.

With a plan in mind, he took his leave, but not before he took care to label the flask, “Do NOT ingest. Yes, Caspar, this is directed towards you.”

One could never be too careful with friends like these.

\---

As he walked around the palace grounds, Hubert came to the conclusion that he was indeed, imperceivable. Soldiers passed him by, some nearly running right into him if he didn’t step away fast enough. A maid watered the plants and hummed a little tune, completely ignoring him even as he waved his hand right in front of her.

When he passed by the courtyard, he saw Linhardt and Caspar having tea together. A bit of their conversation carried as he approached.

“...And the man _refuses_ to share his supplies." Linhardt stressed as he stirred sugar cubes into his coffee. "Some ingredients are quite hard to come by, you know? So, why should I wait for a new shipment of red crystal bane when I can grab a pinch right now?”

Hubert’s brow furrowed., feeling slightly vindicated that his suspicions had proved correct. It was so tiresome to be right all the time.

Curious to gather more information in order to assess the proper punishment, he lingered by their table.

Across from Linhardt, a bored Caspar sighed, “That sounds rough buddy. But yanno, he will be _pissed_ when he finds out. Is it really worth the trouble?”

The bishop scoffed and waved his hand dismissively. “ _Please_. I don’t know why anyone finds him intimidating. Even if it _looks_ like he jumped out of a horror novel... It's all a front.”

Smirking, Lindhart sipped his tea and continued to dig his own grave with every word he spoke. “This is how it will play out. After bitching at me for a few minutes, he’ll grumble and throw a few empty threats my way. Then he’ll slink away to his cave, and nothing will come of it. I’ll deal with _that_ before waiting a month for an apothecary delivery.” His lilting laughter echoed in the courtyard and caused Caspar to chuckle as well.

Hubert’s eye twitched as the urge to cast a curse on Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum rose.. Just before he did, was inspired to take a different approach.

As Linhardt raised his drink to his lips, Hubert smacked the bottom of his teacup with his palm. He had to bite back a laugh as he watched as it upends onto the bishop’s robes.

“Shit!” Linhardt yelped as he jumped to his feet. Alarmed, Caspar stood up and ran over to Linhardt's side. “Jeez man, are you okay? Did you burn yourself?"

“I’m **fine**.” Linhardt hissed. He looked around frantically, trying to figure out what or who had jostled his hand.

With a devilish grin on his face, Hubert walked away, feeling quite satisfied with himself.

\---

While causing chaos was fun, what Hubert really wanted to do was surprise a certain someone with the news of his success.

Hubert made his way to the Prime Minister’s office and was thankful to see that his door was open. As he entered he saw Ferdinand bent over his desk and carefully reading over a missive. Through the window The sun's rays cast a radiant glow over his long, flowing red hair.

The sight was almost as breathtaking as the lovely face his locks framed.

To have such a beauty for a husband, Hubert was a lucky, lucky man.

With each step he took across the room, Hubert expected Ferdinand to look up.

But he did not.

Instead, he continued to read, even as Hubert stood right beside him. Curious, he looked over his shoulder to see what had captured his attention.

He had expected the document to be some sort of trade agreement, but no. It was an old letter that Hubert had sent to him while he was away on a mission.

It was so long ago Hubert had no recollection of what exactly the mission was, but he certainly remembered writing the note.

During the early phase of their courtship, Hubert spent his free time writing incredibly sentimental (and later salacious) letters to Ferdinand. The latter often detailed what he planned on doing when he returned. It was that sort of letter that Ferdinand read now, a light blush on his face.

This was surprising for two reasons.

One, that his husband kept that letter for so long.

And two, that he was re-reading it when surely he had important work to do.

Warmth blossomed in his chest, and Hubert once again found himself deeply in love. But he would have the rest of his life to fawn over this man.

Right now? Right now, he really wanted to mess with him.

Hubert leaned down next to Ferdinand’s ear and whispered “Working hard, are we?”

The yelp that left Ferdinand was excellent ammunition for later teasing. Hubert had to stifle his laugh lest he gives himself away too soon.

In an instant Ferdinand was on his feet, his eyes wide with alarm as he produced a blade that was hidden under his desk. The letter fell to the ground, forgotten.

Back against the wall, Ferdinand searched frantically for the origin of the voice. “Show yourself, villain!” Despite his bold words, his voice wavered as he pointed the blade around him. To see him poised and ready to strike at a moment's notice was incredibly endearing.

“Villain? How cruel, Ferdie. I thought we were close.” He teased.

When Ferdinand lunged in his direction he stepped out of his way and watched as the Prime Minister twisted around, now looking confused.

Finally, Recognition dawned on his beloved’s face.

“Hubert?” Ferdinand's eyes furrowed as he slowly scanned the room. The fact that he could be staring right at Hubert and not see anything - not even a _shadow_ \- was exhilarating.

The warlock laughed, his disembodied voice echoing off the high ceilings of the room. . Though he knew Ferdinand couldn’t see it, he still made a show of bowing before him.

“It is I, Hubert von Vestra.” He dramatically held his cape over his face for no ones his enjoyment except his own, “Your villain... till death do us part.”

A small, uneasy laugh left Ferdinand; he slowly lowered his blade.

Running his hand back through his hair, Ferdinand sighed, “Gods, Hubert, do not scare me like that! Did you know that I nearly had a heart attack?”

When Hubert didn't step out from wherever he was hiding, he looked in the general direction of where he last spoke. “Hubert? My love... where are you, exactly?” Now that an intruder was ruled out as a source of the voice, Ferdinand set his sword down on his desk.

Stepping right behind Ferdinand, Hubert spoke, a smile evident in his voice, "I'm right here, _dearest_.”

Another yelp.

This time, Ferdinand clutched his chest and glared over his shoulder, “Cut that out!”

Delighted, Hubert chuckled and gently rested his hand on Ferdinand’s shoulder.

The contact understandably startled Ferdinand, and when he turned and saw no one there his eyes widened comically.

“I’m afraid I’m not sure exactly how to ‘cut it out’. I am under the effects of a potion at the moment- but I cannot say how long it will last.”

“An...invisibility potion?” Ferdinand murmured, turning around and feeling around for Hubert. His hands found Hubert’s shoulders, and he squeezed them experimentally.

“An accurate description.” Hubert nodded. Then he added, “Though...I cannot account for how my clothes _also_ have been rendered invisible. Additionally, while I can see myself clearly, it appears that I no longer cast a shadow.” Magic was a strange, fascinating beast of a subject. Even if he studied it for the rest of his life, Hubert suspected it would only leave him with more questions than answers.

Once he processed what it was that Hubert was saying, Ferdinand’s face lit up. He grinned and hugged Hubert, his head knocking against Hubert’s chin. Hubert winced and rubbed his jaw.

“That...that is _brilliant_ , Hubie! What an amazing discovery!” Ferdinand pulled away, pacing around the room as he rubbed his sore forehead.

“Oh, the Emperor will be elated! Why this could revolutionize our military tactics. No, it could revolutionize warfare in general! This could- ...Wait.”

The awe on Ferdinand’s face faded as something occurred to him.

Turning on his heel, Ferdinand crossed his arms over his chest, “Hubert.” His voice was low and laced with warning.”Did you use _yourself_ as a test subject again?”

Ah.

Right.

Thinking about it now, Hubert could vaguely recall that Ferdinand had said something about not doing that anymore. That left Hubert with two choices: Lie, knowing that Ferdinand could obviously tell he was lying. Or, tell the truth and admit he disobeyed Ferdinan’s request.

Opting to take the secret third option, Hubert said nothing and just cleared his throat.

Absolutely livid, Ferdinand put his hands on his hips, “You **promised** me that you would test that sort of thing on an animal first! Or at the very least, a prisoner who would be executed anyway.” Ferdinand walked forward, grasping at the air until he brushed against Hubert’s side again. He waggled his finger in the air, “Did you even think before you tried this? Or did you completely take leave of your senses?

What if that had killed you?”

The last question left Ferdinand worrying his lower lip. Ferdinand sighed and massaged his temples “ Do you want me to cry at your funeral so badly, Hubert? Is that why you do these things so often?”

Those words pierced his heart. Wounded and Riddled with guilt, Hubert sighed. Walking around to stand behind Ferdinand, he snaked his hands around Ferdinand’s waist and pulled him into a hug.

Startled at first, Ferdinand relaxed as he recognized the action.

After a moment's hesitation, Ferdinand huffed and rested his hands over Hubert’s. To the fascination of them both, his fingers rested over empty air.

“Dearest, you know I don't want that.” Hubert kissed Ferdinand's cheek. His love just scoffed, though the light blush on his face told Hubert he had already forgiven him.

“I must admit...you would make a beautiful widower, Ferdinand. I can see it now.... You, dressed in the finest mourning suit money can buy. Your hair brilliantly silhouetted against your black coat.” As he spoke, Hubert removed his hand to brush Ferdinand hair to the side so he can press a kiss to the nape of his neck. Ferdinand shivered but kept silent.

“Though I am loath to see you sad, I cannot deny that you’d be stunning. I would gladly haunt you just to bask in such a sight.”

Hubert rested on Ferdinand's shoulders and nuzzled against his neck. Doing so earned Hubert his husband's smile in return.

“Only _you_ would romanticize your own funeral.” Ferdinand chuckled.

Then his smile fell.

Determined to steer the conversation away from such a morbid topic, Hubert reached over and ran his finger over Ferdinand's wedding band. Hubert kissed his cheek again, “I’m not going anywhere, love. I apologize for taking such risks... I can see how I’ve upset you. “

Ferdinand huffed and shrugged Hubert’s arms from his waist, “I will consider your apology.”

Ferdinand turned around and his eyes looked right through Hubert. Pouting, Ferdinand said, “ I must say, I find it quite disturbing when I cannot see your brooding face.”

Hubert chuckled, “Most people would be happy in your situation”

“Well, most people are uneducated.” Ferdinand quipped matter of factly. Then he smiled, his gaze soft and affectionate. “I delight in your pale face and all of its angles.”

If Ferdinand could see Hubert, he would have seen the blush blooming over his face.“Pale and angular…” Hubert mused and stepped closer to him. “Is that supposed to be a compliment?”

Ferdinand tilted his head to the side, “Is it not? I find those qualities quite attractive, you know.”

Smiling, Hubert reached over and gently caressed Ferdinand’s face, “Of course, I had nearly forgotten. Thank you, my love.”

He leaned in and kissed Ferdinand’s cheek, “I am quite fond of your face as well. Now that I’m invisible, I can properly enjoy your beauty.”

“Oh?” Ferdinand blushed, looking away as he smiled shyly, “Certainly you have seen me plenty of times by now?”

“Yes, but now I can truly take you in without you growing self-conscious.” Hubert tilted his chin to look in his direction and looked into his eyes. “Have your eyes always been such a lovely, amber color?”

“They’re the same eyes I’ve always had, Hubert.” Ferdinand teased, his face flushed as he listened to his husband fawn over him.

“I should hope so,” Hubert smirked. He admired Ferdinand’s long lashes, His bow-shaped lips, and his smooth, sun-kissed skin.

When they kissed, he felt Ferdijand sigh and watched as his eyes closed. Ferdinand raised his arms to wrap around Hubert’s neck, or rather, where he expected his neck to be.

Luckily they had done this many times, and now it was muscle memory.

Holding him close, Hubert’s hands wrapped around Ferdinand’s waist. He parted his lips and welcomed Ferdinand’s tongue, and both of them sighed as their kiss deepened.

The grandfather clock’s loud chime ruined their touching moment.

Suddenly Ferdinand pulled away and looked at the time.

"The cabinet meeting… Damn!” When Ferdinand cursed, Hubert's eyebrows raised. It was a rare treat to hear such language from those perfect lips. It only made Hubert want him more.

Ferdinand walked away and gathered a stack of documents off his desk,” I am so sorry, but I have to go. Please just stay here, all right? I shall see you again in a few hours.”

The documents were put away in Ferdinand’s leather briefcase, a birthday gift from Hubert.

Frowning, Hubert watched Ferdinand as he checked his hair in the full-length mirror on his wall. He wished that his husband wasn't quite so important that his presence was constantly required.

Then again, Hubert supposed the same could be said for his work as the Minister of the Imperial Household. But right now, there was a lull in his duties while Ferdinand’s continued.

After Ferdinand gathered his things, he paused before stepping out the door.

“I wish to kiss my husband goodbye.” Ferdinand declared and tilted his face up expectantly.

Hubert granted his request with a warm laugh - closing the distance between them and pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. Ferdinand smiled into the kiss. Once they parted, he walked out into the hallway. Hubert followed him, then bumped into Ferdinand back when he suddenly stopped.

“By the way,” Ferdinand looked over his shoulder, “You are forbidden to follow me.”

Hubert frowned and stepped back, “May I ask why?”

An abrupt laugh escaped Ferdinand, and he shook his head, “Do not act as if you would not use this opportunity to do something scandalous! Understand that I am _not_ in the mood for it.”

“So you say.” Hubert grumbled, then added, “Remind me, who was it that was just reading my explicit love letters? Before an important meeting, no less?"

Caught in his hypocrisy, Ferdinand blushed red and stammered, “This ...This and _that_ is very different! What you are suggesting...Augh! Stop distracting me; just **promise** me that you won't cause me trouble.” Ferdinand looked at the space where Hubert last stood, waiting for him to respond.

Disappointed in Ferdinand’s lack of a sense of adventure, Hubert sighed. “As you wish, Ferdinand. I will behave.”

With a slightly unconvinced smile, Ferdinand nodded then continued down the hallway.

Hubert was now alone.

Had this office always felt so big before? Or was it the occupant that seemed larger than life?

Sitting at Ferdinand's desk, Hubert picked the love letter from off the ground and read over its contents. His past self certainly had been bold. They were lucky that this didn’t get intercepted by the enemy en route. Such depravity would no doubt be used as blackmail against them.

After he was done he began to rifle through Ferdinand’s desk, looking for something to occupy himself. Sadly, there were no more love letters, and nothing else particularly interesting could be found.

Hubert’s resolve lasted approximately five minutes before he gave into temptation and stalked out of the Prime Minister’s office.

\---

As Ferdinand approached the door to the cabinet meeting room, he could swear he felt a looming presence behind him. When he turned around and saw no one, he glared at the air behind him before opening the door.

Walking to his seat, Ferdinand exchanged pleasantries with the other cabinet heads, glancing around him to see if anyone bumped into an unseen spectator. When he finally sat down, Ferdinand set his briefcase on his lap and took out his notes, as well as a quill and ink bottle. He turned over one of the pages and wrote,

_Hubert?_

For a few moments, nothing happened. Just as he began to wonder if it was his imagination, he felt the others hand fall over his. Using Ferdinand’s grip on the quill, Hubert wrote back a reply.

Ferdinand imagined that the sensation must be similar to what a possessed person may feel.

_Yes?_

The word was written in Hubert’s tell-tale scrawl, nearly illegible except to a lucky few.

Enraged, Ferdinand had half a mind to turn and smack him. Unfortunately, With cabinet members steadily filing into the room, he could not afford to wave his hands in the air like a mad man.

Setting his jaw, Ferdinand wrote back,

_You promised!_

He underlined “ _promised_ ” three times. There was a soft chuckle just behind his ear. Fuming, Ferdinand angrily dipped his quill and wrote in bold letters,

_**Terrible! You are terrible!** _

His hand shook as Hubert took control of it, taking the opportunity to draw a small heart next to Ferdinand’s words.

Accepting his loss, Ferdinand grumbled under his breath, “If you disturb this meeting, I will be _furious_.”

Huberts low, smoky voice tickled Ferdinand’s ear as he whispered, “Then you shall have to punish me, won’t you?.”

Even now that voice was doing things to him. A pleasant shiver went down Ferdinand’s spine, despite his frustration.

As soon as Hubert’s hand left him, Ferdinand felt acutely aware of his surroundings.

Frankly, it was frightening to think that someone could be right beside him and Ferdinand would have no idea what they were up to. The fact that it was his husband only amplified the situation. Though he loved him dearly, the man was...unstable. Prone to the risk and thriving on anything that thrilled him.

However, nothing happened, even as the meeting commenced. Ferdinand gave his opening speech without issue. After he deferred to the Minister of Education to speak, Ferdinand settled back in his chair. He searched the room for something to catch his eye.

Perhaps Hubert would yank the unconvincing toupee from Duke Carmichael’s head? Or would he tip over the wine glass that dangled precariously from the Minister of Labor’s hand?

That Hubert would be satisfied with childish pranks was of course, wishful thinking on Ferdinand’s part.

When a hand ghosted over his thigh, Ferdinand’s knee jerked and hit against the table’s bottom with a low _thunk_.

He hissed, then covered his mouth. Luckily, the Minister of Education had a loud, commanding voice, and everyone’s attention was focused on him. Ferdinand scooted his seat back and looked under the table. Of course, he saw nothing.

Ferdinand mouthed, “Stop!”

Unseen hands rested on his knees, spreading Ferdinand’s legs apart. If he was not seated at the table’s head, that certainly would have caught his neighbor’s attention.

When he attempted to close his legs, they were pried back open. Ferdinand wanted to growl, wanted to give Hubert a swift kick to his side, but either action would give them both away. Ferdinand shook his head and forced himself to pay attention to the current speaker. A blush climbed up his neck as he felt Hubert’s nimble fingers undo the metal clasps of his breeches.

Tonight their bed would feel quite empty without Hubert there to steal all the covers.

Just as he was beginning to be interested in what the Minister had to say, Ferdinand’s breath hitched as Hubert released his cock from the confines of Ferdinand’s clothes. He bit his lip as his husband stroked him, coaxing his cock to full hardness.

Praying that no one would have reason to look under the table, Ferdinand leaned back in his seat and looked down..

With abject horror and fascination, Ferdinand watched as his cock slowly disappeared when Hubert took him into his mouth.

So, the potion didn’t make him translucent, as much as it effectively mimicked the surrounding area like a camouflage.

This would be an exciting discovery if it wasn't completely derailed by the feeling of Hubert’s tongue as it swirled over the tip of his cock.

At that point, Ferdinand decided that it would be no help to either of them to put up a struggle. Might as well let the bastard get it out of his system.

He had to resist the temptation to let his head fall back.

Ferdinand’s back arched against his chair as Hubert pulled off of his cock and swiped his devilish tongue across his frenulum. Someone else was speaking now. Ferdinand picked up his quill and pretended to take notes. The words sounded far away, and Ferdinand felt as if he was in a fog as he scribbled nonsense over the page.

His hand stilled when Hubert pressed a kiss to the base of his cock. His fingers tightened around his quill and his grip mussed up its feathers as Hubert licked a long stripe over his ballsack before sucking one of them into his wet, hot mouth.

.

A soft sigh left his lips as Hubert circled his tongue around him. He inhaled sharply as Hubert pulled his lips off with a barely audible _pop_.

When his leaking cockhead pressed against Hubert’s moistened lips, he had to bite back a moan as it disappeared between them.

It was then that Hubert started to seriously devote himself to the task at hand.

Ferdinand thinned his lips and stared into the middle distance - trying desperately to ignore as Hubert hollowed his cheeks and sucked him deeper into his mouth. He took him all the way until Ferdinand felt his cock hit the back of Hubert's throat.

When he glanced under the table Ferdinand could see his shaft appear and then disappear as Hubert's head bobbed up and down on his cock. As he shifted in his seat, Ferdinand felt Hubert’s hands gently squeeze his knees.

The sight was so strange- almost comical.

If it wasn’t happening during a crucial cabinet meeting, Ferdinand would have laughed.

Instead Ferdinand was just enthralled by the disappearing act that occurred between his legs.

An annoyed throat clear from across the table called Ferdinand’s attention.

Startled, Ferdinand looked up and he looked up and found Duke Carmichael staring at him with the most disdainful look.

With an apologetic smile Ferdinand sat up in his seat and coughed, “S-sorry, my mind was elsewhere. What...what was it you were saying? Something about, land taxes correct?”

The Duke frowned at him, then nodded, “Yes, I am glad that you managed to keep up, given your minds' whereabouts. Now then…”

The old man rambled on, and Ferdinand took the opportunity to dig his heel into what he could only assume was Huberts side. A shiver ran down his spine as he felt a scrape of Hubert’s canines against his cockhead as he pulled off him.

When the cool air hit his skin, Ferdinand suddenly felt quite vulnerable. 

Additionally, he discovered that he had been quite close. His cock now throbbed and a copious amount of precum dripped down his length. He could only imagine the mess it was making of the oriental carpet under his seat.

For a brief moment Ferdinand considered that Hubert might have decided to stop there and leave him alone. While it was a dreadful tease to leave him at the edge like this, it seemed in character for the mood that Hubert was in.

No sooner had he thought that were his hopes dashed away.

Once more Hubert’s lips wrapped around him as the cruel man started to suckle the tip of his cock.

Stifling his moans was now an increasingly more difficult task. It seemed that Hubert had taken the nudge as a personal slight, and now he was earnestly determined to torture Ferdinand.

Ferdinand’s hips jerked as Hubert mercilessly attacked all of his most sensitive places with his tongue. Each lick and scrape of his teeth brought Ferdinand that much closer to release.

Hubert lifted Ferdinands legs up and hooked his knees over his shoulders.

Trembling, Ferdinand’s breath quickened as Hubert sank down on his cock and swallowed harshly around him.

Then when Huberts hands reached around him and playfully grabbed his ass - Ferdinand jumped in his seat.

To his credit, the only noise that escaped him was a small, strangled groan as he came. 

"Prime Minister, are you ill?” The Minister of Health and Safety asked - the irony was not lost on Ferdinand. The old man was clearly concerned, and when he addressed Ferdinand the whole table looked in his direction.

A sick, twisted sense of pleasure unfurled in Ferdinand breast. Here he was: red in the face, his shirt damp with sweat, his hands trembling - and they thought he was sick.

When in reality, Ferdinand was lost in the sensation of coming buckets down the throat of the Minister of the Imperial Household.

“Sir...perhaps you should retire early. Forgive me for saying this, but you look terrible." The Minister continued, his eyes furrowed in worry.

Ferdinand chuckled, feeling lightheaded as Hubert untangled himself from Ferdinand’s limbs and licked him clean. "Ah, y-yes. You may be right.”

Once Hubert had tucked his cock back into his trousers, Ferdinand pushed his seat back from the table.

He wobbled as he pulled himself to his feet and was relieved when he saw he looked more or less inconspicuous, given what went on just seconds earlier.

“I think I will thank you. Everyone, if you would please excuse me..." He bowed his head and left his briefcase behind as he quickly made his escape.

\---

It was silent as he walked through the palace halls. As the residual effects of his orgasm faded, Ferdinand felt the unquelled rage from before rise in his chest.

The silence remained until he got to his office door. Ferdinand didn't even blink as it opened before he reached for the doorknob. Once he was inside the door shut behind him and locked.

“I can see why you dislike that Carmichael fellow.” Hubert sneered, his voice slightly hoarse.”His nasally voice was starting to grating on my ears”.

There was an unopened bottle of scotch in one of the glass cabinets near Ferdinand’s desk. Needing it now more than ever, Ferdinand fetched it along with a whiskey glass engraved with his house crest.

“Dearest?” Ferdinand said, his voice tight as he set the glass down, his hands trembled with anger as he pulled the cork from the bottle.”If you would, please leave.”

The scotch was a beautiful dark amber color as he poured it into the glass.

Of course, the door did not unlock, and it did not open.

When he heard Hubert chuckle - heard the amusement clear in his voice, Ferdinand felt his blood pressure rise.

“Come now, you enjoyed yourself didn't you?” Huberts voice was closer now. There was a gentle touch to the small of Ferdinand's back as he threw back two fingers of scotch. The alcohol felt warm as it slid down his throat.

“I have **nothing** to say to you.” Ferdinand seethed, pouring himself another glass.

“ _Ferdinand-_ ”

But Ferdinand held up his hand, ”Do not _Ferdinand_ me! Did you expect us to cuddle? That we could continue here in my office?” He scoffed, and raised his glass to his lips.

There was a pause, then quietly Hubert said, “Well...Perhaps there was a hope that we could..”

The glass hit the surface of his desk with a loud clack. Ferdinand grabbed a scrap of paper off of his desk and held it up to the air.

“Hold this between your teeth, so I know where to aim when I **slap** you,” Ferdinand growled, glaring across the room.

"I- "

"Do. It." He spat, his words barbed. When the paper does not lift from his hand Ferdinand groaned in frustration and stamped his feet on the carpet, “For fuck sake, when will that _damned_ potion wear off?”

The next time Hubert speaks, his voice came from across the room, as if he had ran away. "Even if I knew that I would be hesitant to tell you in fear for my own life.”

A scornful smile twisted on Ferdinand’s mouth, and he barked with laughter, “Ha! As you should! Fear is **exactly** what you should be feeling.” He stomped across the room when he saw the lamp by his bookshelf move as Hubert stepped near it.

"Darling," Hubert said sweetly, his voice slightly strained. Ferdinand held his arm out and felt around for him like he was walking in the dark.

"Love?"

Ferdinand turned and swiped the air in front of him. This time, his fingertips just barely caught the edge of Hubert’s cape.

"Sweetie…" Now Hubert started to sound nervous.

The small table near Ferdinand’s armchair was jostled. Leaping forward, Ferdinand grinned as his hands found purchase on Hubert’s chest. He pushed Hubert down into the chair, and watched as the cushion sank under his weight.

Ferdinand climbed onto his lap and felt around, locating his shoulders. He traced his fingers up Hubert’s neck, mapping out his face. Then he held Hubert’s chin and raised his hand- preparing to smack his terrible husband across his handsome, invisible face.

“Snookums?” Hubert said, meekly, punctuating the pet name with an audible gulp.

It was such a terrible pet name that it gave Ferdinand pause. He grimaced, and his nose scrunched up in disgust, "Ugh, do not call me that."

Laughing nervously, Hubert admitted, "No, I suppose that doesn't suit you.”

Huffing, Ferdinand raised his hand again, but it hung in mid-air. While Hubert certainly deserved to be slapped, it felt wrong to do so. They had never struck each other while genuinely angry - just when they were pretending to be mad as a game.

This was real, though.

Biting his lip, Ferdinand’s hand trembled. Then he sighed and let it fall to his side. He covered his face in his hands, grumbling all sorts of expletives.

Hubert’s hands gently tugged on his sleeves, and when he spoke, he sounded cautious, like talking to a wild animal. “ Love...I want to redeem myself. How can I get back into your good graces?”

"Have you a time machine?" Ferdinand growled.

"Ferdinand. I love you."

Ferdinand exhaled sharply, and he pulled hands away from his face so that Hubert could watch as he rolled his eyes. " _Hmph_."

"I just...I wanted to touch you so badly that I didn't think of your feelings.” Hubert’s warm hands held Ferdinand’s.

Ferdinand felt kisses against his knuckles. "I'm truly, deeply sorry, dearest."

How many times had he heard those exact words from Hubert’s lying lips? Of course, Ferdinand was not so petty as to keep track of something like that.

But it was at _least_ six times now.

“Now who has a river of filth flowing from their mouth?” Ferdinand sneered and yanked his hands away. He slipped off of Huberts lap and walked back to his desk and settled in his chair. Another glass of scotch was poured, and Ferdinand nursed it as he watched the carpet dip subtly under Huebrt’s steps.

Ferdinand wheeled his chair around and looked out the window behind him. The sound of the glass cabinet opening and closing met his ears. Then Ferdinand heard as Hubert poured himself a glass of scotch.

When he looked over his shoulder, he watched as the full whiskey glass floated in mid-air beside him.

What a strange day, Ferdinand thought. It was like he was in a dream. Or more appropriately, it was a scene taken straight from his nightmares.

As the drink slowly disappeared from the glass, Ferdinand turned away and watched the shadows climb across the capitol as the sun started to set.

“This reminds me of something,” Hubert said, breaking the silence. Ferdinand acknowledged him with slight noise in his throat as he tipped his glass to his lips.

After clearing his throat, the glass floated down to the desk as Hubert set it down.

" _Your hair is like fire,_

_your smile like the sun._

_Your love I desire,_

_my heart, you have won._ ”

A smile flitted across his lips, and Ferdinand smirked, "Hmph. Still remember that old poem?"

"Of course.” Hubert’s voice was soft, closer to his chair. “Afterall, I wrote it for you."

Warmth traveled over Ferdinand’s face. He held his glass over his lap, smiling as he remembered how Hubert had drunkenly serenaded him the night after they won the war. Though it was incredibly romantic, at the time, he only remembered being shocked and embarrassed. He had to drag Hubert out of the ballroom, away from the amused crowd that included the Emperor and their friends.

The next morning Hubert spent several minutes apologizing profusely. In response, Ferdinand imitated his caterwauling from the night before. That morning was the first time they ever had sex.

“Is it your plan to have me reminisce about our courtship? in hopes that I will go easy on you?” Ferdinand asked, his voice slurred slightly as the alcohol finally started to affect him.

“Maybe,” Hubert said, smiling. Ferdinand blinked.

Ferdinand could tell he was smiling.

As the potion wore off, the shadows on Huberts face appeared first. Then slowly, his skin, hair, and clothes bled into view. When Hubert saw his eyes widen, and noticed that their eyes now met, he looked around. His shadow was now visible against the desk.

When Ferdinand stood up, Hubert flinched and held his hands up, “Wait a momen-” He stopped mid-sentence as Ferdinand hugged him tightly.

Even though Ferdinand was still upset, the relief that washed over him when he saw Hubert’s face was overwhelming. He laughed and buried his face into the crook of Hubert’s neck. “I am _so glad_ to see your face. Even if you are an ass.”

A second passed, then Hubert chuckled and wrapped his arms around Ferdinand, “I am very relieved to hear you say that...I was worried you might ask for a divorce.”

“The thought did cross my mind...” Ferdinand mumbled against his skin. The way that Hubert tensed in his arms made Ferdinand smirk. Feeling sleepy, Ferdinand closed his eyes and nuzzled his neck, “Take me to bed. No funny business.”

Ferdinand settled against his chest as Hubert scooped him up in his arms. The gentle rock of his steps as he carried him out of his office and into the hall was slowly lulling him to sleep.

“I am sorry, Ferdie,” Hubert said softly. Ferdinand hummed, turning his head to lean into his chest.

“Make it up to me tomorrow.” He murmured.

That seemed to satisfy Hubert for now, and he said nothing else.

Ferdinand fell asleep before they made it back to their room.

**Author's Note:**

> This was so fuuuuun! Ferdinand will get his revenge in part two. Please let me know what you think, I love reading people's comments! Is there something you'd like to see in the next chapter? 
> 
> You can always find me @jotarovapes on twitter if you'd like to chat :) 
> 
> Also, I used Grammarly and my own eyes to review this so let me know if you see anything amiss <3


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